Before we get to the name origin of GWAR, please take a gander at the greatest fake rock bio EVER:
"At the beginning of all things, there was the Master, a hideous planet-sized creature floating in an endless void. And it was a boring void, so he created everything ever just to amuse himself. And as life spread through this void, The Master found the best way to amuse himself with his new toys was to make them fight each other, so he created WAR. And he saw that it was good, so he created The Scumdogs of the Universe as the ultimate executors of his favorite activity."
"Led by The Master’s most loyal servant, the cyborg Techno-Destructo, the Scumdogs had become the most powerful force in the universe. So great that they dared to rise up in rebellion against their creator and fulfill their dream of destroying everything. The ensuing battle was beyond epic, as The Master deployed his newest and most powerful weapon, The Death Pod, and turned it against GWAR. Ultimately defeated, the Scumdogs were loaded into the dreaded Butt-Cannon and shot to the most insignificant, isolated mud ball of a planet in the entire galaxy—the planet Earth!"
"The first thing the alien refugees did was have sex with the local animal population, thereby creating the human race. Enraged that GWAR had created humans (the most annoying of races), The Master froze them in a great tomb in the barren waste of Antarctica, to sleep in its icy vastness until such times as he might need their awesome power and call them back into his horrific service!"
"Millions of years passed, but GWAR still imposed their will on humanity…reaching into their dreams and inspiring them to heap atrocities upon each other and pollute and ravage their own world with disease and war. And it was the pollution of heavy metal that ultimately led to GWAR’s release! Because of the brief dominance of hair-metal bands in the late 80’s, and their overuse of hair spray, a huge hole was burned into the ozone above the GWAR temple, and the Scumdogs began to thaw. At that precise moment, music mogul and notorious underworld boss Sleazy P. Martini was on the run from the I.R.S., shot down over Antarctica and crashing into the frozen tundra in front of the GWAR Temple! Stumbling inside, he discovered the ageless warriors stirring within their tombs. Seizing the moment and in short order Sleazy quickly got them addicted to crack (the only thing that saved his life), brought them back to the U.S.A., gave them electric guitars, and exposed the world to the sickest band in metal history—GWAR!"
Now to reality - Founding member Dave Brockie had an idea to use the costumes made for a movie he was making, Scumdogs of the Universe, and have his band at the time, Death Piggy, open for themselves as a barbaric band from Antarctica, playing nonsense songs while sacrificing fake animals.
(Narrator takes deep breath).
The name of the joke group was "Gwaaarrrgghhlllgh". The members of Death Piggy began noticing that more people were coming to see Gwaaarrrgghhlllgh and leaving immediately after the set. After several refinements, including shortening the band's name, Death Piggy was now GWAR.
They've covered Alice Cooper, appeared on Fox News, guested on talk shows, read Goodnight Moon for the kiddies and become cartoons. And I'd be remiss if I didn't mention their annual GWAR-B-Q, where Bohabs (GWAR's devoted fans) can enjoy swimmin', drinkin, eatin' and getting covered with the requisite and copious amounts of fake blood and other fake (or are they...?) fluids.
And when you have Jerry Springer as an honourable member, there's really nothing left to say except,
Leave a Reply.
The officially unofficial blog of Faux Rawk. Everything you read is true, although some of what you read is 100% false. Whoa... trippy, man.