Alright, alright, alright... McConaughey references aside, a t-shirt printer/distributor should be finalized within the week, meaning glorious Faux Rawk merch will be for sale soon thereafter (an announcement will be made a day or two before). 

For now, however, continue to read about and absorb the fascinating and fun fakery (and creating your own rock tongue twisters?) that is Faux Rawk. 

​Devil horns sign out!

Out of all of the Killer/Krazy entries, this may be one where you're thinking, "er, you're yanking my chain good sir, and I do not appreciate it." 

From the band name itself to the sub-sub-and-let's-add-another-sub-for-good-measure genre in the heavy metal universe, vegan deathgrind, Cattle Decapitation is unique to say the least. But while many extreme metal bands use horrific lyrics and imagery simply for shock value, Cattle Decap (ain't that a cute nickname) has an actual message behind their music, which extends from their vegan beliefs.

Songs about animal cruelty, the poisoning of the Earth and the overall arrogance of the human race leading to their eventual downfall are just some of the oh-so-sunny (ha ha) yet thought-provoking topics presented by this quartet out of San Diego. 

Oh, and having your own vegan burger doesn't hurt either. 
​

The mystery of their name is enough to draw you in, and finding out the origin only makes them cooler. 

Run The Jewels gets you right from the start with their overwhelming lyrical talent, outstanding flow and genius-level creative beats. 

Separate, EL-P and Killer Mike were hip-hop cult heroes. Together, they are the superduo in the rap game. And this is not your run-of-the-mill Hall & Oates/Simon & Garfunkel pair with clearly defined leads and second bananas. No siree Bob. They are like Superman and Batman in World's Finest Comics. Equally powerful yet bringing their individual master skills to the table. 

Yet with genius usually comes some eccentricity. The videos. The cat-themed album. the Christmas song... but however you feel about them, it's hard to ignore their Liam-Neeson-in-Taken-calibre sets of skills.

That, and the fact they have a theme song! 

Warning: explicit lyrics

Most rock shirts serve their purpose, if that's ensuring that a fan can proudly display their favourite band/artist on the front, and the tour dates on the back, so everyone knows that they were "there". 

The best rock shirts, however, become wearable pieces of art. Some bands enlist artists to create new graphics solely for the shirts, with no connection to songs, the tour or album that is aligned with. And sometimes those end up being the best shirts of all. 

Simply a logo on the front normally isn't the greatest design, unless the band's logo is one of the greats.

At the end of it all, go with your gut and your personal taste, whether it's subdued or a little more on the wild side.
​We won't judge.

​Well, maybe a little...

...can't decide which is cooler: Plague Vendor's name or their musical style - "voodoo punk". At the very least, both live up to their names.

The California band's music is catchy, groove-laden, aggressive and dark all at the same time. The guys came up with the band name after reading a Mexican folk tale, and in typical rock n' roll tradition, a misreading of one word becomes history. 

​Formed in 2009 and playing their asses off into a deal with Epitaph Records, their second release, BLOODSWEAT,
​was recorded in two weeks(!) and runs just over 20 minutes. Here's the first single, 'Jezebel':

And we would be remiss if we neglected to mention that the Plague guys were recently part of probably the best band/beer collab ever. With a Canadian brewer, nonetheless?!?  

If there was a musical artist version of The Odd Couple, Lionel Murphy and Sebastien Laroux might very well be it. Lionel boasts dreadlocks, a Fu-Manchu mustache and a yen for tunics. Sebastien, on the other hand, feels naked without a three-piece suit. But when they're on stage as Astral Daggers, they are one entity, and boy, does that entity kick some serious alternative dance music arse. 

"Yeah, we get into some serious fights. Hell, Sebastien slapped me with a white glove and challenged me to a duel over a drum beat I wanted to use," Lionel recalls, "but we always remember the end result, which is the music. That and the fact that we realize we're like the Spock and Kirk of music, going boldly where no DJ has gone before, eh?" 

Well, the Odd Couple analogy is still solid, but considering that the Daggers have a phaser sample in the first single off their IN FLUX album, "Phase 1", perhaps the Spock/Kirk reference is a tad stronger. But who's who? 

"I'm Spock, naturally," Lionel says. "HAHAHA! Kidding! I love saying that though 'cuz it gets Seb going every time."

Go ahead: pronounce this hiphop group's name. Sounds like you're rewinding yourself, eh? Well, pretty close. Rae Sremmurd is in fact "Ear Drummers" spelled backwards. 

The two brothers out of Tupelo, Mississippi, Khalif "Swae Lee" Brown and Aaquil "Slim Jxmmi" Brown first went as (the surprisingly not-as-catchy) Dem Outta St8 Boyz, but soon changed their name after signing with EarDrummers Entertainment, where they became about as overnight of a success as you could get. They've just completed a host of opening gigs for Miss Lemonade herself, Beyoncé, and are about to embark on their first headlining tour. 

How does one describe them? Well, think as original but weirder than Outkast. Ah, heck - why are we spending time trying to pigeonhole them when you can watch multicoloured T-Rexes wearing bling while jousting each other...

Warning: explicit lyrics

Billings, MONTANA - on the eve of a possible and much-anticipated reunion, ex-MC Phineas "Cranium" Johnson was arrested in a local bar after police were called due to a fight breaking out between two males. 

The fracas happened at Shooters Casino and Sports Bar on June 28. One witness describes the incident as, "like when Barney Gumble punched Wade Boggs in The Simpsons*, man! MC Cranium and the other guy were arguing over who was the better military strategist: Hannibal of Carthage or Alexander The Great. Then the other guy sucker punches Cranium! Cranium jumps on him like a spider monkey and whacking the dude in the head! Crazy, man!" 

On the heels of a possible Rhyme Animals reunion, time will tell whether this amps interest or trivialize the Animals's genius...

*Editor - we do not have footage of the fight. We do, however, have Mr. Gumble vs. Mr. Boggs: